At the Silk Market in Beijing, Robert had been the center of attention, with polo shirts and Timberland jackets thrust at him blindly from all sides. And now, after a brief respite at his hotel, the frenzy had begun again. Barely had the poor man cleared his plate, when a fresh serving of mutton, beef or fish would be spooned onto it by one or sometimes several of his Chinese colleagues simultaneously.

Want to learn Chinese? We love China most of the time, but admit to find it grating when Chinese people assume that foreigners are incapable of putting food on their own plates. And while we usually grin and bear it, sometimes enough is enough. Which is what this lesson is about. Join us for an introductory walk through the Chinese language in which we learn a few ways to assert yourself in mandarin with varying degrees of forcefulness.