Our collective vote for the most incomprehensible Chinese we've ever heard still goes to whatever that farmer selling miniature Terracotta statues was speaking the day we stopped by Qin Shihuang's tomb in Xi'an. And compared to that, the Sichuanese accent is delightful and funny and amazingly comprehensible. And it's actually so very *almost* mandarin that - had history turned but slightly differently in 1955 - we would all be speaking it today.

Learning Chinese? Our advanced shows at Popup Chinese are entirely in native level Chinese. So you should be fluent at communicative Chinese if you hope to make much sense of them. And our show this time is all about the Sichuanese accent. We had a good time recording this show, so if you're looking to pass yourself off as a southwesterner or just want to pick up some Sichuanese slang to impress or confuse the relatives, take a listen. We hope you enjoy the show.
 said on
January 20, 2012
The new CSK test lounged in its over-sized hammock, soaking in the last few tropical rays of the setting sun. As it basked in the glow of the last clear-blue sky it would see this season before it boarded a charter from Sanya back to its misty hometown nestled snugly between the shores of the Jialing and Yangtze, a stray thought pricked at the back of its mind and leisurely made its way into the pit of its portly belly. While a part of it was anxiously awaiting scaling the famed "South Mountain" and cracking open a cold one while dipping its chopsticks into a steaming cauldron overflowing with a boiling concoction of fiery peppers and Sichuan prickly ash and fishing out the last bit of maodu and yachang while washing it down with the last cold swig of Laoshancheng, it was dreading once again dealing with hundred meter long lines of students who had come from the four corners of the globe to take the only test in the world that could possibly give one the credentials needed to make eyes at a Chongqing "spicy-sister", or order a diminutive "bang-bang" to carry a four-hundred pound refrigerator up 32 flights of stairs for a swift five kuai, or to clink glasses with a local Chongqing KTV overlord.

Today Popup Chong-lese proudly presents the first of our series of practice tests to prepare you to sit the world-renowned CSK exam. Each question is worth 2 points, and in the actual 重语水平考试 testing environment you will have only three and two-eighteenth seconds to answer each question, so sharpen your ear-drums, good luck in your practice and, may the 气 be with you.

你听说过中国是个山寨大国嘛?现在连考试都有山寨版本的嘛!现在泡泡重文自豪地向各个呈现,重庆话水平考试 (CSK) 的听力测试,模拟题嘛。通过这个考试的话你才会有资格向一个重庆辣妹抛媚眼或者叫一个本地的棒棒把你四百多斤的冰箱背着到你32楼的房子,或者跟一个重庆老大碰杯嘛。

我要提前告诉大家,这个测试的难度很高,我估计只有Gao和Han才能考80分以上。。。嘛。

祝大家好运。。。。。。嘛!

CSK Listening Comprehension Practice Test #1:

一 、听力题。

1.女:啥子事?

男:关你求事!

问:男的意思是什么?

A.求我我才告诉你。 B.不关你的事。

C.和你的球有关。 D.以上答案均不对

2.张三:哈哈,这道题我张三做出来了。李四,你做出来没有?

李四:早十 八年就做出来了!

问:由此我们可以推断什么?

A.李四今年18岁 B.李四比张三大18岁

C.李四比张三先做出来 D.李四在18年前做过此题

3.女:快点!你还在干啥子?

男:我在穿鞋{hai}子。

问:男的现在可能在做什么?

A.系鞋带 B.穿衣服 C.照镜子 D.给孩子穿衣服

4.甲:A,你爪子?

乙: 肚子突然疼了

问:“爪子“是什么意思

A.乙有爪子

B.做什么的意思

C.甲询问乙的爪子放在哪里

D.说不清楚

5.男:问你讲件事。龅牙书下台了。

女:鬼扯!

男:鬼扯我不扯。

问:从这段对话,我们可以知道什么?

A.有个鬼叫龅牙书 B.女的不相信世界上有鬼

C.男的说他说的是实话 D.男的在和女的扯皮

6. QQ痔疮共有N个渣渣。一天大扫除,先扫出10堆渣渣,派了10个渣渣去渣渣场丢渣渣。教室里还剩几个渣渣在扫渣渣?

问:上面这段话中,与人渣意思相同的词共出现几次?

A.2个 B.3个 *.*个 *.N—10个

 said on
January 20, 2012
Jian Da Hu gripped his wooden pole tightly as he made his way up the steep grades in the mountain city he called home. The smartly dressed blowhard foreigner behind him barked orders in some foreign tongue that he had no hope of comprehending even one utterance of.

Luckily his nimble legs and strong back had made him one of the most hotly in-demand "bang bangs" in the city. However, this back-breaking toil was beginning to wear on his spirit and, through his own dripping sweat and panting breath his mind wandered to thoughts of his hope for moving up the ladder of society.

The CSK test.

He had paid over ¥4,000 yuan for the last time he sat the test and inexplicably failed to pass.

"Is Chongqinghua not my native language?" he thought? How could this be? Were it not for some small nitpicking he would most certainly be guaranteed that cushy position as the head dim sum chef at the local CSC. Where those small details really so imperative?

"In Chongqinghua there is no division of qian bi yin and hou bi yin! No "ng's" here! And how can you fail to realize that, L and N are the same sound in our fair language?" The examiner chided him with an air of critical displeasure.

Besides these small phonetic details, He had even pronounced his own name as Jian Da Hu, much to his wife's chagrin who had repeatedly reminded him, "Don't let your pronunciation be influenced by Mandarin, you must speak standard Chongqinghua if you are to pass. Don't forget, in this exam, your name is called Jian Da Fu!"

Aside from these phonetic imperfections, he had failed to grasp the near infinitesimal shades of meaning of the modal particle 嘛, that were, as the examiner had pointed out, "not dealt with well".

Whatever the reasons were, Jian Da Hu had been handed back and exam paper, minus that one critical component, a crimson red stamp.

"BANG BANG!" a booming voice snapped Jian Da Hu back to his present task at hand. The foreigner shouted words at him in some alien language that he assumed meant go straight into the residential building ahead.

Jian Da Hu clinged to one single prime directive, "next time I absolutely must pass the CSK test!"

Our second Popup Chong-lese test has been released, which, we think for those of you who've been schooled in the subtle nuances of the Chongqing dialect, this should be a piece of cake. For all others, we can only pray...God speed your way.

我们的第二个泡泡重文模拟题出来了,如果你住过重庆或者四川的话我们相信这个小测试对你来说跟ABC一样简单嘛。如果你没住过中国西南的话,我们相信这个测试会对你来说跟XYZ一样难嘛。不管怎么样,你可以试一试嘛。你的四川美女等待你嘛!

二、单项选择题。

请选出最符合题意的选项,每题只有一个答案。

7.四川人普通话说得不好,就说他说的是( )普通话。

A.麻辣 B.椒盐 C.糖醋 D.红烧

8.“( )得烧蛇吃”,此处应填( )。

A. 饿 B. 疯 C.穷 D.懒

9.(拷(kao一声)沙罐指的是( )。

A.一道菜 B.一种工艺品 C.被枪毙 D.迷信说法,拷沙罐来占卜

10.“这件衣服很相因。”意思是( )。

A.这件衣服很便宜。 B. 这件衣服质量很好。

C. 这件衣服很适合你。 D. 这件衣服我们两个可以换着穿。

11.甲:告诉你一件事,

乙:是不是真的哦?

甲:真的呀!

此时乙最有可能说的是( )。

A.你少骗我! B. 真的,煮的哎!

C. 少来哄我! D. 我不信!

12.下面和“你又吃了1意思相近的是( )。

A.你又赢了! B.你吃这么多了,还吃?

C.你怎么又偷吃东西了? D.你又输了!

13.“污猫皂狗”是用来形容( )。

A.一个人养了很多动物。 B.天色阴沉,快下雨了。

C.一个人很邋遢。 D.一个人思想不健康。

14.甲:( )

乙:锤子!

甲最有可能说的是( )

A.你要买什么? B.你吃了吗?

C.现在网上流行什么? D.听说你泡了个美眉?

15.下列词中不表示颜色的是( )。

A.迅白 B.黢黑 C.日白 D.焦黄 E.缺青

 said on
January 20, 2012
I love these Xiao Hu, although I'll be damned if I know the answer to some of them! We should add these to the podcast as the official quiz. :)
 said on
January 20, 2012
@Xiao Hu,

我晕菜了....

--Echo

echo@popupchinese.com
 said on
February 13, 2012
说古语嘛,四川话还是有入声,像粤语那样。

四川差不多每个地方的方言确实不一样。

四川还有很多其他的地方没有的字。

心焦。

很多人其实叫他们老婆,老妞儿。尊重得很。
 said on
February 13, 2012
@Monigeria,

我发现你的中文有了很大的进步了。据我所知四川话里的入声在就消失了。现在四川话保留着平声,上声,和去声,而平声像普通话一样分阴平和阳平。

我很高兴能够用中文和你摆龙门阵!
 said on
February 13, 2012
@Trevelyan,

跟你坦白一下啊!其实这考试是别人送给我的并且我自己不知道正确的答案。假如我自己考 CSK 考试的话我没办法考一百分,而考零下一百分对我来说容易得很,因为我自己只会说一口椒盐四川话 :(
 said on
February 13, 2012
@Xiao Hu,

你终于“回归”啦!过年过得怎么样?

--Echo

echo@popupchinese.com
 said on
February 13, 2012
@Xiao Hu Hu

哎,我感觉我的中文早就到瓶颈了。

入声不是一个音调而是一种声调。

你听听博客里头他们怎样把‘我’发音出来,就有入声。[如果我没搞错了。呵呵。 “安逸”的“安”也应该是吧。]

这个还是要看对方是哪儿的人,四川里有的地方的方言完全不一样。

 said on
February 13, 2012
@Echo,

呵呵!我过年过得挺好的,什么都很顺畅。只不过过了年就胖了十斤,我的牛仔裤一掉了扣子我就心想,咦,很可能适合开始控制自己的嘴了吧。。。

你呢?春节郭德怎么样啊?你有没有像我一样发福了?
 said on
February 14, 2012
@Xiao Hu,

哈哈,我是怎么吃都不变胖的体型....

--Echo

echo@popupchinese.com

your name:

leave a comment: